Try not to beat yourself up. I do the same thing with people sometimes. Like someone says something, and it hurts, but I don't say anything right away, like it doesn't process till I leave the situation, and then I'm like, hey!! that's not cool. It's like I freeze. I've gotten better at reacting in the moment with work on myself and time. Tangent: it's funny because I went from one extreme to the other, very passive all my life and letting people treat me like crap, to "Hey!! That's not cool, like in yo face!" Especially on the internet. I am learning how to be more assertive. Balance it out. Anyway, I'm really sorry that your T said that to you. I don't know the context, or the situation, and wonder if she meant about the balance / imbalance of power between T and client. But it sounds like there's more to it than that.