That worry of talking about it and being told it is your fault is a symptom of a potentially abusive relationship. They wear you down until you react and by virtue of having any type of emotional reaction gives something to be held over your head. If that makes sense?

Reaching out in a group like this, is reaching out. Therapeutic processes come in a variety of ways. Contacting places that offer women's only support is another venue. Therapists can take time to gain access to, sometimes, depending on openings/availability/insurance.

I don't like the idea of his mom slamming a door on you.