I guess when I have issues in my life and when things start going wrong in my life then my thoughts are not the best. I made a few bad choices today and I came home to someo nonsense and now the urge to cut is major. When I had a a T it was so much easier to deal with. Typically I would sometimes hand her whatever I was going to use and I would take into consideration that we are working on things. I now have this no one cares attitude and I'm free to do as I like. I'm not working on getting better and I feel like things sometimes just doesn't matter. I guess I'm having a bit of a dark moment. She sometimes told me that I'm an adult to make my own decisions but with this sometimes she was more proactive. It's been some time since I felt this way. The last time I did I was in therapy. Just trying to hang in there.