Hi sister, I think what you have said is very wise. You sound like you "know yourself" and are doing what is best for you in therapy (not reading psych books). I can see how over-analyzing and comparing oneself to what one reads in books could force one out of feeling mode. It's interesting to me that even though I am a highly analytical person, I seem to be able to walk into T's office and feel feel feel. It kind of amazes me, actually.

I'm kind of a psych dunderhead. I never studied it in school and know very little. It has been very helpful to me to learn more about psych by posting and reading here on PC. When I first came here 10 months ago, I was several months in to my second therapist (the current guy), and I was experiencing transference, and it was freaking me out! I felt there was something deviant and aberrant about it. I was really reassured by learning more about transference from more knowledgable people here on PC and also by reading the In Session book. I saw that I wasn't so abnormal and in fact, transference could be therapeutic. So, for me, it actually helped me cope with therapy to learn more. Without that intellectual knowledge, I might have quit therapy. I think we are all different, though. And I can see how I could probably definitely go overboard and learn "too much", if that makes sense.

Right now I am reading a book that is really helpful to me. I guess I wouldn't call it a psych book, although it is written by a psychologist. It is a communication book, and wow do I ever need major help with my communication skills! The book is Non-violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. I am really being profoundly affected by this book. For me, it doesn't feel like I am intellectualizing by reading this book. I am being exposed to a way of thinking and communicating that really resonates with me, and inspires me to want to do it too. To me, books can be really valuable and an important adjunct to my personal growth. In my next session with T, I am eager to talk about some of the problems I have in communicating, why I have them, and how I can change them. I'd almost like to have a conversation on a difficult topic with him and have him stop me each time I utter something that derails the communication process rather than aids it. Kind of like word by word coaching so I can really see what I am saying to f**k things up.