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Originally Posted by Shadix
RichardBrooks, yes I have the same issues you talk about, and I think it is very likely I am on the autism spectrum. And we are on the same page about society and its built in defense mechanisms.
It is very inspiring to hear from someone who went from being socially marginalized to socially valued. However, there is a little part of this that is confusing to me.
When you explain "play the character you want to be" you say "so what you need to do is be someone else, someone who isn't socially awkward", but then later on when further explaining, you say "I don't mean act like a specific movie or TV character, or act like someone you aren't. Authenticity is a big part of charisma." Well, this is a huge part of what I struggle with. Whenever I try to be the person I want to be, someone who isn't socially awkward, it always feels like I am not being genuine. So can you explain to me what the difference is between what your proposing and acting like something you aren't? If I am socially awkward, wouldn't acting like someone who isn't socially awkward entail acting like someone I'm not?
I already do a couple of the other things on that list btw. How long did it take you to go from socially awkward to charismatic?
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Don't think of it as not being you or not being genuine... it's not that. What it is is learning a new skill set. It feels uncomfortable because it's new and different and because you aren't very good at it when you're just starting out... just like basketball or chess. You aren't pretending to be something you're not the same way you aren't pretending to be French just by learning to speak French.
The reality is, over time you will find you become more authentic as you strip away the inhibitions and the worry and the self-deprecation. You act more naturally and therefore more genuinely.
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Sometimes insanity is a perfectly sane reaction to an insane situation.