Yeah, regular sleep is very important for maintaining stability, so it's good you're already getting regular sleep.

I actually think it's OK to have caffeine as long as you're not disrupting your sleep/wake cycle with it. (e.g., Don't take caffeine late at night if you know it's going to make you stay up the whole night.) Plenty of people with BP drink coffee and soda, and some also have energy drinks or tea. Caffeine isn't a strong enough stimulant to induce a (hypo)manic episode. Like... 1, 2, or 3 cups of coffee in the span of 1 hr isn't going to make you full-blown manic. And it's debatable if caffeine "fuels" (hypo)manic states.

Assuming alcohol won't induce a life-threatening reaction with your meds, I think a little alcohol is OK too, but not in excess. Alcohol is a depressant. Just drink it sparingly and don't use it to self medicate; then you're all set to go. (For example, if you're at a dinner event or a wedding, it's okay to drink a glass of champagne. Just don't do it everyday.)

As far as disclosure goes, nope, never told my family. They found out on their own (well, my dad figured out I'm on meds). I'm 25 too, but not married.

But anyway, I'm sorry to hear that people are trying to "diagnose" you by telling you what you have and don't have. I'm private about my life as well, and most people don't see my struggles either.