My two cents is, its like she's playing the t card. She can see things i cant. Thats what we want them to do, etc.

OTOH, and this is where i ended up with my t, is - do i go to t because he says so? I.e., do i go for him, or do i go for me? Because at first i went because i was helpless, almost as if i had no choice. But now i am developing agency. So when we disagree, its the rapprochement problem all over again - if i stand up to him, do i lose him, like i lost my parents?