I'm sorry you are struggling with this, Sarmas. I also go through periods where I feel like... oh hell... what does anything matter... just do what you want... who cares? I don't really know what causes it. A lot of the time, in my case, I think it comes in the aftermath of one of my outbursts of anger. So, from that perspective, perhaps it's a way of protecting myself from the guilt I feel over having fomented another fit of anger. Hope you find success with hanging in there...