Thanks for posting such honest words.

I actually related a lot to what you have described, I don't feel love either towards others, let alone my family of origin. It makes me so angry and bitter sometimes knowing that others have this capability while I don't. I wasn't been able to form a successful intimate relationship with the opposite sex, despite the fact I wish I can fall genuinely in love with someone. It's a paradox for me actually, I wish for something I'm incapable of.

And you're right, answering such question is very perplexing and sometimes embarrassing. Sometimes when I hear people fall in love instantly, I get amazed How they trust and surrender to their feelings.

I think the first relationship that we have to be successful at is the relationship with ourselves, How can we offer genuine true affectionate feelings towards others, while we are incapable of forming intimate, compassionate relationship with ourselves!! it's like we betray ourselves if we fake we are in love with someone, and at the same time we hate ourselves. I think that the extent that we have trustworthy, compassionate relationship with our selves, will dictate our relationship with others.

Another aspect I found genuinely touching, is that when people commiserate us and share our pain and be more understanding, intimate feelings will automatically arise, and we truly admire and "love" that person, at least that what I'm experiencing. I have a couple of friends, but I always felt my relationship with those who I spent years, never materialized into a real friendship. Surprisingly, Authors from self help books, and despite I have never met anyone of them, I found myself forming real genuine admiration and appreciation for them, I feel sometime they are closer than my family and everyone else.

We have unmet needs, and those who offer us support and understanding, we can't help it but fall in love with them.

Happy new year.