Yes, you are making sense. When we find someone who knows how to respond to us and make us feel connected and cared about, we don't want to hear that that person is just doing his job that he was trained for. We want real relationships with real people who are actually part of our lives and really do care about us. When he said that he was trained in responding that way to you, it must have felt like it was more his training and his profession responding to you than him as a person, and it felt less real. Am I close there?

I don't think that it is less real though, and I am sure that he didn't mean to have you think that he cares any less. A lot of the training to be a therapist involves learning communication skills, such as listening better and understanding what someone is really saying and feeling, and also how to show the person that we get their message, understand it, and accept it. Some therapists were always natural good listeners, and others may even have had deficits in those skills. Personally, I find that I use those listening skills that are being taught to me quite a bit, because it is a more effective way to communicate than what I had before. It doesn't mean that I care any less though, just that I learned how to show empathy better than I could before. I'm sure that your T really does care about you too, and that the connection is real. He is a real person. Maybe what he hoped for you to understand is that the other people in your life, who haven't had that training, may also care as much as T does, but they haven't learned how to show it.

Well, you can ask T what he meant, but there's my twist on it. I hope that you do tell your T how you felt, and ask him what he meant for you to understand. Maybe he was trying to be modest, and maybe it was a bit of a slip, but still something that can contribute to your growth if you bring it up.

TC,
Rap