For Mouse,

I noticed you wrote your own inner hatred was what causes these feelings and circumstances...that you want to feel better about yourself....how about making a choice to forgive? NOT RECONCILE...........that's asking too much....just forgive....the tie that is tying you to this terrible, terrible, person......cut the tie.....and hand the tie over between God and this terrible person.....God will punish in His own way......it's as if this terrible person owes you money for what they did to you.....and you bravely stamp DEBT FORGIVEN.....this will free up your heart of inner hatred DO IT FOR YOURSELF....the hatred hold you back and it doesnt even hurt your offender he/she isnt getting hurt by the hatred just you are the mature choice for YOURSELF is to forgive just to get YOURSELF ahead of the game.....then pray for your offender.....