Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
I was speaking to Skies, though in a public forum. The “us” referred to the commonality that I felt with her and an attempt to be with her in her despair.
I posted in the public forum, rather than with a PM, because for me it has helped a lot sometimes to feel “heard” or some sense of commonality with others here when many or most don’t or can’t understand. And, if I missed the mark in part or completely, then because my comments were just a part of the public commentary, they could be relatively safely rejected by the person I was wanting to support, if they weren't helpful. An effort on my part, take what she likes and leave the rest.
To whom does the “our” refer in your post? I certainly do not feel a sense of commonality with you. So even though you addressed your comment to me, I don’t feel any “our” in it.
Acceptance of hopelessness about therapy, rather than going forward with something that has repeatedly disappointed me or an ideal that doesn't exist, understanding that feeling, that seems realistic to me. Things may be different tomorrow, but this is where I am, today. And maybe accepting this feeling, from a core place inside of me, is necessary for going forward.
Maybe Skies didn't like my post either. But I have really tried in therapy, more than 50 years on and off as I've said before. So I believe my own sense of despair about it is realistic.
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I totally get what you're saying and I agree. I do not view psychotherapy as a bad thing for a lot of people; I have seen how it works and it genuinely works well for many. BUT I get it that it isn't always the best answer for everyone AND the reason it doesn't work or a person finds it hurtful isn't because he/she didn't
try hard enough or work hard enough or he/she didn't find the "right" therapist. Sometimes the damage one has experienced is just too much and you just have to hang on and find other ways to survive. I get it that some are "pro" therapy and see it the end all to be all. I just have a hard time understanding why those same people, who suffered a lot and found a pathway to healing and revealed in it's success, can't see that their pathway isn't the same pathway for everyone else. Why aren't we able to recognize that we are all individual and therefore need different things to heal? Weird . . . and sad that that understanding is often forgotten. And my feeling goes both way: those who have found it helpful don't think other's, who found therapy hurtful and painful, were somehow not working hard enough and those that found it hurtful can't recognize that some found therapy a miraculous success and rejoice in its healing.