Amanda,

A therapist may be able to help you figure out whether or not there is a psychological basis for what is going on. You said that you had seen a gyno, albeit one that certainly wasn't very professional, so I assume they found nothing physically wrong down there or anything.

Keep in mind too that every female is different for what feels good - I have only ever orgasmed a handful of times with penetration, but I find if I have clitoral stimulation WITH penetration then I can, but it takes a long time. And I am alot better now than I used to be. I'm not sure what changed for me, other than getting older and being more comfortable with my partners.