narcissists have got to want to change -there is the problem, they are so wonderful aren't they? there is lots of info and books about the disorder and possible treatment, my brother is 55 and a N he would so wish to change and he sure has tried, problem is his self esteem is so fragile and dependent on trashing other people that i don't she it happening. i've just ended a friendship with someone who is a borderline , i convinced myself that i could help and change this person---not a chance ,they have to do it for themselves, my experience has made me realise i'm drawn to people with not just everyday issues ,but big ones-- just like most members of my family---no more for me!