Patty,

What you are feeling is completely normal for the situation you are in & you do deserve your pity party. It is hard because not only are you responsible for your Mother 24/7 even when you aren't attending to her because you are always thinking about her & she is in your house even though your sister is helping during the week. You are stressing & don't have a real restful sleep even when you are sleeping. That is just the way it is when you have a parent that is dying. I know for me, it was the most horrible feelings I have ever experiences & a stress level that can't be compared to anything else.

I know for me, the stress was so bad, it was made me sick. All the meds my pdoc could give me didn't help because they didn't change the situation & there was nothing I could do about it, so I completely understand how you are feeling. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I honestly think he did at that time.

I'm glad you are talking about it because it helps to know that your feelings are normal for what you are going through & others who have been is a similar situation have expeiences the same horrible feelings.

There were actually times when I was watching myself sitting next to my Mother & watching myself going through life at that time. I was watching a nightmare that I couldn't get rid of. It was the strangest sensation but I was told it was a reaction to the stress, so don't be surprised if you go through many strange feelings during this especially as the fatigue & stress progresses. I actually passed out from the stress when I was at my psychologists office.

Don't mean to alarm you, but just so you might be aware of other feelings that you might experience.
Debbie