Quote:
Originally Posted by rainboots87
So how do I work through this? I've brought it up with her and we talked about it a little- explored the feelings before she did add that she doesn't hate me (which seemed genuine). I don't just need her to reassure me that she doesn't hate me, because I know it's not really about that. The problem is I don't know what it IS about. I've only seen her for about 4 months or so.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MBM17
That's what my therapist says - the only way to really believe I'm not too much, the only way to believe he doesn't think negative things about me, the only way to trust that he won't kick me out with apathy, is to talk and talk and talk out the fears and see that they aren't playing out true.
Would you say that's right?
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Yes, that is right. Transference is not so much how you think, but a certain way you have been wired from previous experiences in the past. In order to break the transference reaction: you need to experience it, recognize it, and have a new experience in an attachment relationship that counters the transference reaction. The therapeutic relationship can become this reparative attachment relationship. So, yes talking about it over and over does help, but what is really going on is with you. Every time the Therapist shows you they care, listens to you, and understands you the wiring inside you is being restrung. Essentially, it is an experience that takes time and can be uncomfortable before it feels better. That is why it is called "work."
