I very much appreciate the feeling of dancing the dance of dysfunction in a relationship. Keep in mind there is often something missing in learning modeling of more healthy relations from the get go.

Learning to accept and forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you feel you have made is critical in moving forward and becoming your own hero.

You mention your mom upset about not answering calls. As a survivor, myself, I cannot begin to account for similarities in story sharing where there has been a piece of our origin that wasn't whole. Doesn't mean our origins were entirely at root, but there's a link that factors in, a common denominator. Corner a person long enough, they will lash out. Depression and anxiety are commom. Those also factor into reaction. Self depreciating is common.

You are not alone. And you raise the value you place on back to therapy through mentioning. No need to be so hard on yourself. It's an unfortunate current situation. Growth is possible and most likely inevitable. Be your own hero. Hang in there.