I feel as though in the past year or so I've formed a few addictions. I've never smoked in my life and then in the past 12 months or so took it up which has left me feeling disappointed in myself. I drink most nights and feel as though I need it if I go out to feel relaxed and confident. It also makes me feel less lonely when I'm on my own.

I have also started doing Cocaine when I go out (which I really hope is ok to say here) which is starting to take over my mind a bit (when can I get some, who will have some). In truth though I know it only exacerbates my anxiety and makes me feel ashamed of myself.

My dad was/is an alcoholic so I know I have that in my genes.

I feel like I'm on a slippery slope but I don't know what to do because I'm not sure I want to even stop any of the above. But there is a part of me that is screaming stop, be healthy, meditate, work on yourself and stop trying to escape with substances.

Can anyone relate? It would be nice to hear I'm not alone.