I know it. It's not easy. I'm usually very affectionable and compassive with others but I barely used affection or compassion towards me. This is one of the reasons why my psychiatrist diagnosed me with Perfectionism. My perfectionism traits were helping me to feel less anxiety and look for improvements but it's a double-side sword. Meanwhile, it causes me lots of suffering. A constant search for controlling everything and an eternal insatisfaction, beside my frustration because of me not being able to be and show my own being.

Btw, someone here suggested me recently, when posting about hiw my thoughts beat me over and over again, mindfulness.
I unknown if you are touching some of it with your therapist.