Cutting was always my thing. I couldn't see myself getting satisfaction from anything else. I wanted to see blood. And burns were always the worst kind of pain for me. I hated it and never wanted to do it intentionally. It was an annoying kind of pain.

Lately, my need to cut has peaked again, but for some reason, out of the blue, I've been eyeing up lighters. What the heck is wrong with me?! I know I hate that kind of pain more. It's different and doesn't even make me bleed. I don't understand why I want this. I still want to cut, but I guess now I want both.

Has anyone else wanted to try a different self harm method for no apparent reason? I like one and hate the other, so I don't understand why I'm getting these urges. I don't know how much longer I can hold myself back either.