Thanks, Skies. Is there specific therapy for OCD? The pdoc I saw just wanted to give me lots of Zoloft. I didn't want that. I think DBT addressed it some. I contradict myself because both are true. FWIW, I'm not looking up T's bf anymore. I've been too busy and I realize it's not good for me. The pain is about T not telling me. She's not angry so I can see I don't have to punish myself. So, I think I broke the cycle. T thinks mindfulness will help me, and doing meditation 20 minutes every day. I'm trying.