Hmmmm...... OK, don't give up on the cooking thing even though you don't all sit down together. How about making sure you all get one good home cooked meal together, say on a Sunday? Or pre-prepare stuff for everyone, like tapas, or dishes that they can just microwave or reheat? Or do a big serving of say something like chilli, so if anyone gets home and they're tired, they just need to warm it up. Try to avoid the cleaning contribution, not just because of your brother, but because it's more effort to plan and prepare meals. If I had a daughter living at home, I'd much prefer having a decent bite to eat - cleaning I can do quickly and don't have to think about, but food I do.