You don't understand. I have no faith in antidepressants but I think many people who post here take them and seem to need them. I keep trying to say I do not Google and obsess continuously as you seem to think. I got triggered recently by asking T if I could see a photo of her bf and her refusal. It was a spontaneous question. I started the thread because I was upset at that time. I thought it was wasting time, true. I've spent much more time reading and answering this thread than googling and obsessing. It's your opinion that "digging around in my past is pointless." That doesn't make it true. Have you ever been in therapy? I don't think I've ever seen you start a thread. Why do you read here? Just curious.