Thank you for sharing this. My hope is that this year I can get the coping skills needed in order to keep my SIs at bay, as I'll be damned if I have to spend more time in the hospital. I'm trying hard to learn to accept myself for who I am and what I've done, and although I've made progress, I still have a lifelong road ahead, as many of us do I'm sure. I am grateful for places like this site where I feel more at ease with sharing what it is I'm feeling, without feeling as if I'm being judged or looked down upon.