Thread: Consistency
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Old Jan 02, 2017, 11:12 AM
Anonymous58205
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demunie View Post
Mona,

I used to have an inconsistent T. She always changed appointment times and did cancel on short notice (without explanation or anything). There were weeks she couldn't fit me in. She also threw me out of session after 20minutes on regular basis. Whenever she had to cancel, I was sure it was due to another client who was more important than me.
It didn't bother me, or at least I thought so. She was the T, I was sure she knew what she was doing.

Anyway. 1 year ago I've started therapy with a new T. He's very consistent, I always see him on the same days. There was one exception, where we had to reschedule, he let me know weeks in advance.
This consistency is gold worth. I feel much safer than with previous T( Although I still struggle a lot with trusting him, but that definitly isn't his fault).

What I want to say is: For me, consistency is very very important. It's part of feeling safe and appreciated, not feeling "too much", etc.

Please take care. I know you adore this T, but I also think that you should try to value yourself a bit more than her... It's not your job to make your T happy. You don't need to counsel her if she's feeling bad (uhm, which you mentioned in an earlier post, I think). There's only one "you".
I get what you are saying Demunie, it really is about safety and feeling contained. I am glad you found a t who can provide both safety and consistency.
Truth is I do adore my t. I think because she was so unbelievably kind in my first two years of seeing her that I am looking for excuses as to why she has become so bitter and cold. I know its more about her and her private life but it doesnt make it feel any better. She has a lot going on right now but so do I. This was the worst year of my life in so many ways. Bullying me into changing and always telling me I am whining is really not helping me through the impasse. I have told her this many times.
Thank you for your responses and all of the responses so far. There really is something to consistency.
Hugs from:
Elio, kecanoe, Out There, rainbow8