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I provoke something in them that makes them get mad at me.
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Mad... irritation... frustration...
Somewhere on PC, I read about a t becoming impatient about the rate of change and the OP said that they needed a t that was able to accept that the change would occur at the rate it did and not at the rate they wanted it. Is it possible that these therapists are actually frustrated at the situation because they have hit the wall in trying to help you and they don't know how to move forward. That the frustration or anger you are feeling is not actually at you per say but the situation and their own limitation.
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Truth is I do adore my t. I think because she was so unbelievably kind in my first two years of seeing her that I am looking for excuses as to why she has become so bitter and cold.
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Challenge question - is it her that has changed or you? I ask you because of how critical I have recently been towards my t and having to realize that she actually hasn't changed, that it is me that has changed. She is the same willing and concerned t she's always been that doesn't always get or connect with what I am saying. She still cares for me and wants to help me.
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Bullying me into changing and always telling me I am whining is really not helping me through the impasse. I have told her this many times.
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Because of this, personally, I think you've gone as far as you can with this t and at least a break is in order. I don't see how you can feel safe and vulnerable with her based on this statement and several others. You have asked her to change, you have tried to work with her on what is and is not working and she is incapable at this time to make those alterations in her behaviors.
What would you tell someone that was telling you this story? How would you support them? Be kind to yourself, Mona. It's ok to look for what you feel you need, it's ok that a relationship ends and a new one begins (<-- not something I'm good at and it is so much easier said than done).
I see yourself holding you within the palms of your hands, providing yourself with the comforts and care you share with and give to other people.