Mona, if you are not ready to leave the current T for good... have you considered or tried seeing others in parallel? Interview a few and see how you feel about them? Maybe some male T's included (you posted about having issues trusting women)? Even if they do not have special training in trauma, I think responsibility, consistency and reliability can also be a personality trait that's intrinsic in some people and they naturally work that way. Perhaps these people would also have a higher probability to be more secure about themselves and about the interpersonal world. Have a few appointments with some and see if you find a better fit that seems more attractive than your current T?