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It must be so emotionally draining to be in that position. You two seem to feed off of each other in a very co-dependent way. Have you thought about couples therapy just to be happier and more content with each other?
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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