Hello RoseTiger: Well... I'm no longer self-harming. (My circumstances are such that there's really not the opportunity... which is probably a good thing.) But back when I was, I tried out a whole lot of different things... some of them quite bizarre actually. I don't know why I did it. And I don't know where the urge comes from, or why.

When I think rationally about some of the things I did, it just doesn't make any sense. Yet I did them. And at the time, somehow, it all just didn't strike me as being all that warped. I presume it has something to do with "material" that is stored in areas of the brain to which we have no conscious access. At least that's my explanation for it. I don't know if talking with someone, a therapist presumably, would help to alleviate the "pressure" to self-harm you're experiencing. I never did that myself. Perhaps I should have.

Anyway... I hope you can find relief from the urges to self-harm you're struggling with. I know self-harm can become kind-of an addiction of sorts over time. I wish you well...