it's hard to believe there is a way up. For the past two years I've been hospitalized for depression around this time, and I'm fighting so hard. I see my therapist twice a week now. I'm on meds and taking them. I just want to slink into that darkness, but I'm trying so hard to power through it. Just today, I think. Then tomorrow.

I worry I messed up NYE, Christmas. I felt great after Christmas, but that was just for a couple of days because it was over.

I'm tired of telling my husband I'm depressed. I feel like there's little I can do but survive.