Hey bipolar forum viewers,

I'm a twenty-something with bipolar 1. I was diagnosed about four years ago after a severe manic episode. Over the past few years I've been managed with relatively good control with a combination of Seroquel 100mg and Lamictal 200mg. I like to think the Seroquel helped prevent mania and depression with the Lamictal on board for extra prevention of depression. I had a handful of depressive episodes lasting a week or less but had gotten pretty used to what they felt like and what I could expect, including the fact that they would resolve on their own pretty quickly.

Over the past summer I had another pretty severe manic episode and so Saphris was added on to get better control. Due to some depressive symptoms my dose was increased to 10mg.

I think I'm going through a depression now, but it seems very different than the depressions I've experienced before Saphris. Cognitively, I feel sharper and more capable of baseline functioning. I feel more apathetic and disinterested. It's almost like a low-grade depression that's lingering.

I'm scared because it feels like the bipolar I'd gotten used to has changed. I guess it's a good thing that I'm now sharper but the depression feels harder to recognize and therefore harder to cope with.

A psychiatrist I am close with mentioned that depression can come in different shapes and forms and can feel more physical than emotional sometimes. But I feel kind of alone in this and more afraid of my disorder than I have been in a while.

Has anyone else gone through something similar like a change in their usual bipolar feel? I am hoping for a good 2017 and if it means fighting my bipolar like a warrior I hope I can find the strength.