Quote:
Originally Posted by bpfighter250
Hey bipolar forum viewers,
I'm a twenty-something with bipolar 1. I was diagnosed about four years ago after a severe manic episode. Over the past few years I've been managed with relatively good control with a combination of Seroquel 100mg and Lamictal 200mg. I like to think the Seroquel helped prevent mania and depression with the Lamictal on board for extra prevention of depression. I had a handful of depressive episodes lasting a week or less but had gotten pretty used to what they felt like and what I could expect, including the fact that they would resolve on their own pretty quickly.
Over the past summer I had another pretty severe manic episode and so Saphris was added on to get better control. Due to some depressive symptoms my dose was increased to 10mg.
I think I'm going through a depression now, but it seems very different than the depressions I've experienced before Saphris. Cognitively, I feel sharper and more capable of baseline functioning. I feel more apathetic and disinterested. It's almost like a low-grade depression that's lingering.
I'm scared because it feels like the bipolar I'd gotten used to has changed. I guess it's a good thing that I'm now sharper but the depression feels harder to recognize and therefore harder to cope with.
A psychiatrist I am close with mentioned that depression can come in different shapes and forms and can feel more physical than emotional sometimes. But I feel kind of alone in this and more afraid of my disorder than I have been in a while.
Has anyone else gone through something similar like a change in their usual bipolar feel? I am hoping for a good 2017 and if it means fighting my bipolar like a warrior I hope I can find the strength.
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I want to say yes, but then I thought about how my life has changed as well. I had a good period of stability for about four years. I was even working full time and taking three classes a semester and was still good! However, the past two years I have been hospitalized. But I've had a few life changes as well. My grandmother passed December of 2013 (she was my rock). I bought a house (this home maintenance stuff is not for me, I live alone and it can be overwhelming). And my current job has increasingly become difficult (kicking my anxiety into overdrive). So as we change, it's possible that our reactions and symptoms change. At least thats my two cents. But as long you still have the fight in you to be proactive in staying well, you can conquer these cycles. If you're noticing these changes, you are very aware of your moods and/or episodes. That's amazing and you definitely have the strength to keep fighting! Please continue to take care of yourself!