I identified with the book searching, having to have "that" particular book.

You have those books, they're "in" you, as is your rescueability (which is why you thought of those books). I think we get rescued when we need it, by the "best" rescuer for us; kind of like "when the student is ready, the teacher appears"? Only there's a rescue version so when we're really in need, help shows up. You haven't drowned yet have you? :-)

There's a line in a book that I don't quite remember but loved about the author wondering why whenever she has to let go she always leaves claw marks :-) It ain't easy but we do it; grow up.