I hope it's OK that I join here. I do not know where to exactly fit in, among the bipolar or among the depressed. I am not officially diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder, am in some kind of middle position between Unspecified Bipolar with Seasonal pattern or Cyclothymia. To mention these diagnoses may give you a clue of what kind of sufferings I struggle with. My sufferings are chronic in what ever box one chose to label them (the professionals might call it atypical depression ???). My «highs» are often related to how I feel after having had fun. It is as if I cannot stop «having fun», inside I'm filled with repetitive funny intrusive thoughts (not fun when I need to go to bed, but am not able to fall asleep). I feel that I am helped by the use of CBT/DBT techniques. A lot of work, but in my case, worth it. Among others I see having real fun as triggers. Of course I cannot stay out of fun (like everybody else I want to enjoy), but in my case the best I can do to be able to not suffer afterward is to plan how to behave before and after the fun. I try to live a structured life, eat healthy, try to get enough sleep and have taught myself to look out for triggers and to use techniques to prevent episodes if possible.

To control the disorder if possible, not to be controlled by it is my motto.

It is not always possible or sometimes it's too difficult to see the trigger before it is to late. Am working on trying to become better in forgiving myself and to accept that I have a chronic disorder.

Since I have used some years to learn how to cope, I hope to be able to in some way or other to give hope to others on their way. I know that to continue to believe in some light when it looks like darkest is VERY difficult. To give and to receive ... To help and to be helped ...

So, if you don't mind, I would very much appreciate to pup into this thread now and then.