Hi, couch...long time, no see.

I am doing so-so. Lots of stress going on right now. Took a leave of absence from my masters program because I was falling behind. Start back up next week.

Been locked in a small storage room at my school job all day since the middle of November. They pulled me from my classes to do "resource" where teachers send kids to me. Only no teachers send kids, so I am alone all day. The only room available was a former storage closet and that is where I am (half of it is still used for storage). It drives me bonkers being locked in there all day with no socialization. I hate it. I took an extended winter break from school. Kids were not out until Dec 22, but I took personal time to take the whole week off. Kids go back this Friday, but I am using personal time again to have another day. I have enough time saved up...I might as well use it. I also took personal time the 3 days before Thanksgiving to have the whole week off. I have just about had it with my school job, but the health insurance benefits are better than what I would get elsewhere and that is important with my meds and mental health appointments.

CVS is going pretty well. I worked overtime the week of Thanksgiving and on the holiday. I worked over time the week before Christmas and the week after Christmas as well as the holidays. My check for those 2 weeks comes this Friday. Pay stubs are posted online tomorrow, so I can check and see how "big" it is then. My estimate is about $1150 before taxes. Not bad for 2 weeks. But that would not happen every week.

Family stress just got worse in some areas and better in others. My mom and step-dad are not getting along and my mom has obtained a lawyer. My mom found drugs in my step-dad's sock drawer and checks to a bank account she didn't know he had. How does she have such luck with men?!?!? This is her 5th marriage and they all ended because of drugs, money, or affairs. She must be a magnet for weirdos. Step-dad is staying with his mom right now caring for her because she had knee surgery and is telling my mom that he wants to live separated for a while. I don't want to see my mom go through another divorce.

My mom for a few months has been noticing that her tires look bald, so she asked step-dad about them. He told her she had at least 15,000 miles left on them. Today she asked my brother what he thought. He said the were bald and dry-rotting. So, my mom took it into the guy who always does the oil changes on it to ask him. He said they were all 4 in the "red" zone as far as safety went. He looked in the profile for the car on the computer and told my mom they have been telling my step-dad since last Feb that the tires needed to be replaced and he refused to replace them. This pissed my mom off, so she made an appointment to get them replaced later this week. She thinks my step-dad is not concerned about her safety now and wanted her to have a blow-out and get hurt. Why I must be told all this I do not know and I would rather now know, but now I do and it is weighing on me.

In other news, my brother is out of rehab, has a job, is seeing a psychiatrist, is taking his meds, and functioning well. He took all the classes the court mandated to get his license back and paid all his fees and fines and is now able to drive again. So at least that is good news.

I just needed a place to vent as I just found all the mom/step-dad stuff out on the phone when my mom called me earlier. Now I am sick to my stomach and will be pre-occupied at CVS tonight. I can't call out though and maybe work will take my mind off of it.

T is on vacation right now until next week. I don't have an appointment until the 18th, and I am sure her schedule next week is booked after just coming back from vacation, so I can't even sort out my thoughts with her. Oh well, I guess they can just fester.

I will see pdoc on the 11th, so if I am still feeling this way then I can ask him for suggestions. I doubt there is a med to solve it and I do not want another med, so that is fine. Though maybe increasing my anxiety med would help. I just don't know. I may email him to ask about that as I am really on edge right now.

Well, I gotta go take my evening meds and get ready to leave for CVS despite my stomach being in knots and my mind going a mile a minute.

Thanks for listening couch. I am off at 10pm, so I should be home by 10:30ish and will check back in.