My head spins as I toss and turn
not wanting tomorrow to come
I think about what I am
what I have become...
Nothing will pacify me
the fingers of anxiety grip
Another trip to my past
A one way terrifying trip......
As the sun shines I try, try
to heave myself from the pit
thinking about yesterday
And silently cursing it.....
I am bad, a misfit of society
a broken, troubled non person
that's how I see me........
So, what can I do but stop
put a begining to the end
so easy these words leave me
but to action it and send
all doubts I have to hell
breathe, breathe and meditate
until I feel well.....
anguish hold my heart
tormented is my soul
grant me the strength to fight
until I feel whole.....
Give me self respect
esteem to hold up high
I'm a person who needs to be loved
and nurtured as time goes by....
Guilt is how I live
by guilt and sadness alone,
a form of conceit?
I'm discontented to the bone.....
Just please go and leave me
take your fingers from my throat
anxiety I despise you
Leave me be to float.......
Free to walk lifes path
without fear or guilt or pain
because your leave of absence
will surely be my gain.....

Jin