It's very clear for us outsiders to see the picture clearly. But, Mapper, you are letting yourself be used and abused and you are letting him drive you crazy. He keeps lying to keep you so confused, you can't catch him and keep enabling him with money.

Prostitutes stay with abusive pimps and keep giving them all their money, too.

I'm sorry you are so stuck because of your own trapping of yourself.

You're not the only one ever who has trapped and hurt themselves. Hugs.