Sorry for how you feel. I can definitely relate. Life can be a cruel ***** and when you're grieving you can feel like there's no end in sight. I'm reading a book by Cheryl Strayed right now (Tiny Beautiful Things...it's great you should read it), and one thing stuck out to me. She said that life is long and that things can change and we can't predict what's going to happen to us in the future. Better times, new connections, could be right on the horizon.

For right now all I can say is to endure. Take it. Own it. And hold on to the hope that tomorrow could bring relief, peace, and hope for you.