Jman, I hope u r ok, and I hope u get some rest, and feel stronger/better later or tomorrow.
I'm a mess so I need to go recoup (rest) so I have the strength to keep talking myself into staying alive a little longer...
Cause I know things can always change (get better) if I stay alive, but won't if I give up and am dead.
It's exhausting but it's really the only choice we have that makes sense,
to hang on a little longer,
and hope for some miracles, or anything good that may help heal our pain and losses.

I really have no clue what I'm talking about, other than knowing deep down
that giving up is NOT a good choice, it feels like it is, (stopping the pain NOW), but it's not.
We need to hang on a little longer, it's the only rationale choice we have right now, tonight.
And I'm willing to risk that I may be wrong, if hanging on and staying alive tonight,
turns out to be the wrong choice,
there's always tomorrow to reconsider,
so again it's the only choice that makes sense right now.
...I hope I'm right, and I'm just not prolonging the pain and inevitable --

Good Night. TTYL.