Three years ago, my wife and I divorced after a 20-year marriage. I've given myself the past three years to clear my head and figure out how to do it right this time. I’ve been learning where I went wrong and I’ve figured out what I want for myself and how to be better and work toward a solid relationship. But, I’m still trying to figure out how to get there.

Several months ago, I decided that I was ready to start making friends using online dating. I explain to each person that I meet that I'm taking the "friends first" route. One of them stands out as someone that I want to explore something deeper with. I'm finding that I "hit it off" very well and I'm very comfortable with everyone except the one that I'm most interested in. It occurred to me that this is happening because I want to impress her which in turn makes me nervous when I'm with her. The more I get to know this person, the less I want to meet other people. I’m feeling a little “love struck”.

She has a PhD in Psychology. So, I'm pretty sure that I have little room for error. Or, maybe I have a lot. She might see me as a nice little experiment.

She is like a “rock”! When we first met, SHE made it clear that her intention was to develop a friendship first. I was very excited to hear that from her since I seemed to be having a difficult time finding women that were truly "on board" with that approach.

When we’re together the chemistry is great but the in between time is labored, at best. Several times I’ve thought that she was losing interest in me but, each time that happens, we get together and things seem awesome again.

I’m having a hard time figuring out how to develop our friendship while balancing letting her know that I’m very interested in her without pushing too hard.

We’re separated by several hours so we don’t get to see each other all that often. I’m trying to figure out the best way to keep things moving without scaring her away. Is it too much to text her every day? I don’t like phone calls and she is extremely busy. Should I try calling her or ask if she’d like an occasional phone call? I feel like her life may be to hectic for phone conversation and that she’d rather use text. I don’t want to put her on the spot by suggesting that we talk on the phone.

The bottom line is that I’m trying to figure out the balance! If I go with my emotions, I’d be calling and/or texting constantly! But, I’m also afraid that by holding back she will get the impression that I’m not interested.

One more thing. One thing that I know about myself is that I’m a “people pleaser” and a “nice guy”. She assured me that she’d always be honest and straight with me but that she feels she needs to be careful with my emotions. Am I toast?! Does she see me as weak? I can’t change my personality but I want her to know that I can handle the truth. I never want her to feel as if she must “sugar coat” her communication with me. I’ve just started to learn about the whole emotional safety thing (that I previously had no idea existed) and her comment to me makes me feel like she does not see me as all that stable which in turn may affect her emotional safety where I’m concerned.