(((babkababy))),

The woman you are describing most definitely needs help and from what you have described is literally "terrified" of loving and being hurt. Often when someone stuggling so deeply like this has a child, they can actually get worse because the deep imprinting when it comes to loving a child is not there in her, instead that is VERY confused.

Also, some women can experience severe depression after having a child because of the extreme hormonal change. However, while that challenge can be present, it sounds like this woman has even deeper struggles as a result of neglect and possible abuse in her own childhood. What this woman needs is "therapy" but also help to understand how not to "self blame" for being so challenged and "fearful" with severe low self esteem challenges, again not her fault.