Passionfruit, I have a student right now whose father has severe diabetes and he has not been taking care of himself. It got so bad that his mother and this student moved out and away from the father because they refused to enable his dangerous lack of attention to his health any longer. That father has lost his entire support system because they could no longer stand by and watch him slowly kill himself. So this brilliant, wonderful young man has lived in hotels and friends' homes, etc. all because of the father's unwillingness to help himself. This whole family has been uprooted and torn apart because a man couldn't be bothered to follow the directions of his doctors and maintain his health.

You are young. You do not have diabetes. Work on improving your health. There is no reason why you cannot get a handle on your blood sugar levels. My own husband was diagnosed diabetes type 2 and with some really very basic lifestyle changes, he no longer is diabetic. Work on the issues that are causing you depression and your obsession with hurting yourself. You can get beyond this and find a much more positive place in life, but it takes a great deal of work and resolve. This affects more than just you.