Thanks for all the replies. Disclosure can occur at any time. For example, someone with diabetes may be managing it for the first 5 years of employment but then it worsens. Same concept with mental illness. I have had to counsel kiddos on disclosing a few months in to a job when they weren't able to maintain without accommodations.

However I do definitely fear the backlash. I think I will have more success just being honest without disclosing. My boss approves my time off but threatens me each time to reprimand me. So-- I can handle it professionally without disclosing by just addressing that aspect of it. Either reprimand me and document it or don't. I actually took this afternoon off. My grandfather is in the hospital-- has been for a few day- and it's just worn me down mentally. So I requested time and got it. But also got a notice I had a meeting with my boss as soon as I come back in.

I think she is just worried about me- but it's also not right to make threats of disciplinary action. Either officially write me up or don't.

For the last 6 months my boss told me I'm not allowed to take my time. And to stop asking. So I did. Until today. Well see what my meeting looks like when I go back in! Fingers crossed.