I look and feel so gross and its making me more depressed than I am already.

I was with my friend today and noticed how confident and stylish she is, and I felt sad because I am not. This is unlike me, I usually don't compare myself to others. I think it didn't help that my boyfriend's mother told me recently after I got my hair cut that my old hair was a 'raggedy old mess'. I felt shocked, I think because I was walking around with a terrible hair and nobody told me, she was just silently thinking that about me.

I am very painfully shy, I think that's down to my illness. I feel very unattractive, I have a very attractive boyfriend though and it makes me worry that he will find someone better, more beautiful, more intelligent. I also am aware I'm not very smart and it brings me down. I missed a lot of school due to my mental health problems, that as well at meds making me not quite with it, I come across as dumb. It brings me down.

I have a long, long road ahead of me if I want to be confident or at least self accepting, I just don't know quite how to get there.