Only you, have the capability of diagnosing yourself the best way possible.
While diagnostics are a tool of help, they are not always the answer.
I believe there are reasons for everything we feel and experience, reasons beyond ourselves.
I don't know what was your diagnosis and what you've been through, but it's an important lesson learned about the imperfect mental health system, and know that it is not your fault. Let's put it this way - if the mental health holds responsibility to one's mental health yet then the client feels worse after treatment, it's the mental health system's fault.
Believe in yourself. ((hugs))