So just from a different perspective, I understand that your wife has changed. But people do change. And their interests, body types, etc., all change.

You want your wife to be healthy. But she has an eating disorder. Eating disorders are very tricky emotionally to deal with. You seem to be "suggesting" a lot of things to her, but I wonder if maybe you are pushing her to hard to be who you want her to be instead of just accepting and loving her for who she is. I have a binge eating disorder, and I was a marathon runner. I could probably talk for hours with your wife about this. While I was a marathon runner, my weight was completely under control, but when I was injured and had to stop running, and various other illnesses happened, the binge eating went out of control and I gained 70 lbs. Just stopping binging isn't easy. You can't just stop. YOu know why? Because you still have to eat to live.

So my recommendation to you is to not suggest things, don't push her towards work outs or whatever, but rather just show as much love and support as you can for whatever route she chooses. I guarantee if she feels loved and supported do to whatever is best for HER, she will probably end up losing the weight.

Sometimes we think we're being supportive but we're really trying to "fix" something instead of just being there for someone emotionally. My dad was in the military and he was that way. He didn't understand the difference between trying to fix me and just giving me emotional support.

Good luck,
seesaw