Oh my dear the pain behind your words is so hard to hear. I see you all over the forums offering support and encouragement to so many people. You are NOT a selfish person, that's very clear.
Doctors can be the biggest uncaring douche canoes in the world and our families can hurt us the most because that's where we expect to be safe and protected. It's easy to say ignore them and so hard to do. But the truth of you is not what they say about you. Ever.
Virtual hugs coming your way!!