Is that what they call it? I'm a psychology major, and I can't remember what they call it. When you completely lose it and just check out. When you're just done. I can seriously feel it building inside of me. I can't remember the last time that I've felt like this. I'm Bipolar, and I have anxiety issues, and usually it's one at a time, but right now it's like I'm manic and anxious and depressed and angry and frustrated and exhausted and panicking and everything ALL at the same time. Last week, I ended up in the ER after the most severe panic attack I have ever had. I went almost completely catatonic, and apparently my eyes rolled up in my head. I remember nothing, except right before. It was like I could feel it all about to snap, and I decided to let it. Now I don't trust myself. I've always had a handle on everything but now it's like the floodgates have been opened. There's been so much, TOO MUCH, and I can't keep dealing with it. I really can't. And I can't take a break because everything costs money and I don't have money. I really feel like a volcano that's about to just go all Mt. St. Helens everywhere. It hurts and it's scary and I haven't got a single friend where I live so here I am, online when I'm supposed to be working, pathetically hanging on to the scrap of attention I get from anonymous strangers who might read my post. I've always scoffed at the notion that what you do online can save somebody, but maybe it's true, because right now these forums are my lifeline. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to slog through these feelings to somehow make everything work and go back to the daily stress.