I seek alcohol more than normal when I'm in a mixed state. I think, in my mind, I'm attempting to use a depressant to make it go one way so I don't stay mixed. Stimulants don't really work for me like they do on others, it seems. Same with simple caffeine, it just makes me feel clouded when I drink too much (more than half a can of soda). If I want to go up I have to take in so much sugar that I push myself close to type two diabetes. Only way I can go up is by cycling there, it seems. I gave up trying to push myself into hypomania. When I'm already up, though, that I reach for marijuana and Adderall to create a more euphoric experience, otherwise I just get angry/irritable. Adderall calms down my anxiety, anyway, so it's nice when I'm not depressed enough to control my anxiety attacks.