I'm so sorry. I know what you mean. I lost a lot of loved ones one right after the other and it is very hard to endure. I fear losing the very few people I still have in my life.

Something I found that helps me was getting a sketch pad and a bunch of cheap art supplies and trying to express all that grief and emptiness. Even if it is just writing words that repeat in my head and then scribble through them with markers. It is painful but it helps me move past the bad feelings for a while.

I hope you are able to feel better soon.